It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
