3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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