But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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