i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
