if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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