If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
