how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
