Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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