goodnight i made you a song goodbye
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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