It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
