How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
