I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Randomize
