I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
third nipple confirmed
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