pop tarts are not kleenex
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
