Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
