Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
