I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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