dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
