Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's shark week go big or go home
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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