Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Too much gin, very little bucket
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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