Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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