Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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