You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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