Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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