Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
