New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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