im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
