I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
be right there i have to get my cape
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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