I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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