I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
