Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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