I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize