ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
