My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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