Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
