I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
