At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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