Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
