No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
