A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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