Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
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Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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