Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
porn star boner night. come get it.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
