girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize