How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My bed smells like the plague
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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