I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
