Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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