So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
