Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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