so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
