I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
