well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
