Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
