Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
