I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
