check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
