Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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