In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize