its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
