Ambien. No doubt about it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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