This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
